If Developers Were To Try a Real Job – Carpenter

“How many hours do you need to build this interior wall, it is 2.40 x 5 meters. Just a standard wall with 2-by-4 studs and covered with plasterboard?”
“I don’t like plasterboards, I try to solve the wall problems with plain particleboard.”
“OK, good for you, but back to reality, I want a 2.40 x 5 meter interior wall with plasterboard. Can you do it?”
“Of course I can, but I wont, only idiots use plasterboard.”
“OK, why is that?”
“Plasterboard was invented 1938 as a solution to another problem, and it has come to my attention that it is not perfect in all conditions. You must use another solution in order to create a better quality. That is why I use glue and particleboard on steel studs. It is the smartest and best solution.”
“But that was not what I wanted.”
“You want wrong”
“No, I WANT A 2.40 x 5 meter interior wall with tree 2-by-4 studs and plasticboard, because that is the freaking standard!”
“Standards are compromizes, I DO NOT COMPROMIZE.”
“So, you cant do it?”
“I wont do it.”
“You cant”
“I can, but I suggest you go to India, hrrm, sorry Poland because they just build what you want with high skills and quality at a good price. If you want something expensive and not what you expected, please call me.”

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One thought on “If Developers Were To Try a Real Job – Carpenter

  1. very funny post, and probably the most spot on description of the average developer I have read in a long time :-)

    Of course, at the other end of the spectrum you have the head of sales who wants the wall yesterday, regardless of quality and capacity, and no concern in the world can change that fact, even that wet old cardboard will do … until the implications of reality become clear, and then.. “why didn’t anyone tell me?”

    Perhaps the best part is that you only know who was right when looking back at it from a safe distance :-)

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